Pre-race nerves

Most people would feel a bit nervous before a marathon, but after six of them I've found that I'm usually more excited than nervous.  I was totally unphased by Brighton, which just felt like a long training run.  The last marathon I was nervous before was Richmond last September, and then only because I was aiming for a PB.

And yet....

The last couple of days I've been feeling a bit twitchy.  Just about everyone I speak to asks me if I'm ready for Sunday.  Today I went for a short jog and felt various weird twinges and also didn't feel like I had vast reserves in the tank like I would expect at this point.  Admittedly it was probably too short to really be able to tell, but EVEN SO.  What if it's a sign?  What if I'm not ready?  What if all that training was a gigantic fluke and secretly I'm just really unfit and probably can't even run one marathon, let alone two?  What if carrying those extra 2 kilos is going to ruin everything? What if everyone on the backwards marathon zooms off after the first kilometre and I have to run the whole thing by myself and end up lost and sobbing on the side of the road?  The furthest I've ever run in a day is 27 miles, 52 miles is a hell of a lot further than 27 miles, how could I possibly just double my longest distance? What if everyone has listened to me blab on about my training on here and then it wasn't enough and I don't finish?  People keep telling me, "you'll be fine" but how do they know?  What kind of crazy person runs two marathons in a day?  Why did I even sign up for this?? What if what if what if WHAT IFFFFFFFF?

I'm meant to be revising but my brain is not really engaged because every few minutes random marathon-related thoughts come crowding in.  I'm super-paranoid about injury - I wouldn't even do sit-ups at Project Awesome in case I managed to damage myself.   I feel the need to eat something made of carbs every hour or so.  I've written a planning/packing/schedule document that runs to several pages of A4.  I'm doing my own head in.  I wish it was tomorrow, I just want to get it over with.  Ahhhhhhh!!!!